Q&A #2 — how to win, forcing action, hitting the gym, and more.

These are the best questions from the most recent Q&A’s on @winning.therapy and @historyofwinning a.k.a. “The winning twins”. I’ve expanded and improved some of my answers, and I hope they’re of use to you.Before we dive in, I just wanna give you a shoutout for being in the game. This shit isn’t easy, and it’s not for everyone. When you sign up for ambitious goals you’re introducing the possibility of glory but the guarantee of many brutal defeats and painful seasons before it arrives. During those painful seasons it may begin to feel like your quest is hopeless, that you’re not as good as you thought and are a fool for even attempting such great aims. Ignore those thoughts and hold fast.

Self doubt is part of the game. Temporary defeat is part of the game. Worry, stress, and frustration are all part of the game. There’s nothing wrong with you—this is how it’s supposed to feel. Just focus on what you can control and always remember that you can’t lose if you never quit. You’ve got this.

“Luck will often save a man, if his courage holds”

In my experience, the biggest driver of confidence is consistently living up to your personal standards, but also:

When you're living out your destiny you can viscerally feel it.

All starts with directionality.

Based on your position + what you want, what do you think is the best DIRECTION to go in.

Go in that direction, make micro adjustments as you gain experience/feedback, refuse to ever settle for “good enough”.

Start by accepting the fact that you will NEVER truly know how other people perceive you. It’s literally impossible.

Next, understand that what you think other people think about you is what YOU think of you.

So what you’re really asking is “how do I change my perception of myself?”

The answer:

Focus on what’s REAL and TRUE. What do you believe about yourself? What’s the evidence for that? What’s the evidence against it?

A lot of the time our self perception is massively skewed by the story we CHOOSE to tell ourselves about ourselves. That story then selects “supporting evidence” from our memories and suppresses everything to the contrary. Change the story, and you change the perception.

Decide how you want to perceive yourself and begin stacking evidence a.k.a. Actions to reinforce that.

Understand that the mental rewiring process is incredibly difficult but it’s the most important work you’ll ever do. You will have slip ups and regressions. What matters is that the actions you CHOOSE outweigh your default / automatic actions until the new actions become the new default

Constantly reinforce the story you CHOOSE.

Losing $15k (my entire net worth) in a single crypto trade and deciding to start a business.

Changed my life forever.

Google “the laws of physics”.

That’s like saying…

“Do I have to learn anything to succeed?”

YES, YOU HAVE TO LEARN THINGS.

HOW DO YOU LEARN THINGS? YOU FAIL.

The key = you must actually learn when things go wrong. Most people get EMOTIONAL about failure. They internalise it and make it all about them. Failure is information. It’s not positive or negative, it’s NEUTRAL. What you choose to do with that neutral information is up to you, and will determine your outcomes in life.

LOSERS get upset, they take it as a personal slight and create stories about “who they are” based on it. As a result they avoid failure in the future, which is the same thing as cowardice.

WINNERS analyse WHY they failed, and come up with solutions to achieve a different outcome next time. They LOVE failure, because it gets them closer to their goal.

It’s all about how you CHOOSE to perceive the information, and what you do with it.

Physical location is no longer an excuse for anything. You live in the age of the INTERNET—the most abundant “country” to ever exist, with infinite opportunity available to anyone who can WORK WITH FOCUS.

What’s stopping you from taking advantage? You asked this question which means you have access to social media and WiFi. You have everything you need to get rich.

LOWER THE BAR.

If you know what you need to do, but you’re not doing it, then the level of action you’re “assigning yourself” is too great for your current ability. You need to walk before you can run. So identify something SMALLER. Ask yourself, “what’s the EASIEST thing I could possibly get to inch slightly closer to my goal?” If you can’t do that, find something easier. Keep repeating this process until you find something SO easy you actually do it. BOOM. Now you’re taking action.

It also helps to think long and hard about the consequences of your inaction. Not just for you, but for your family (present and future) and the people you love. What happens if you continue on like this? Where will you end up? Are you okay with that?

Increase the PAIN of doing nothing until it’s greater than the pain of doing SOMETHING. Then you’ll take action.

I don’t believe in regret. When I look back throughout my life, every blunder and mistake that could be classed as a “regret” turned out to be an essential lesson that I desperately needed, an experience that shaped my character, or a “life path adjustment” that led to something so much greater.

So now I lean on faith. Everything is playing out exactly how it’s supposed to, and all I have to focus on is doing EVERYTHING I know I should be + learning the lessons I’m being offered via my experiences as they come.

First, recognise this is an OPPORTUNITY to develop “consistency in imperfect conditions.” You’re being offered a chance to fortify your abilities, and if you can do it in a “bad environment,” it’ll be effortless when conditions are better.

Second, change what you can change. Can you leave? Can you adjust your routine to minimise the effects of your environment? What can you cut out/eliminate?

Third, ask yourself if you’re using your “bad environment” as an EXCUSE for your own poor habits. It’s easy to point the finger. Much harder to point the thumb. But that’s what you MUST do if you want to enact real change in your situation.

Letting other people’s lifestyles/ways of operating affect how I live my own life. I’ve spent years running my own experiments to figure out what works for me. I have an EXACT playbook that’s perfectly tailored to who I am and how I operate best. When I follow it, I get insane results. When I stray, things go downhill. So basically just constantly reminding myself that MY way is best for ME, and ignoring everything else.

Waking up early is so f*cking easy it’s a joke. Set your alarm for 6am. Put your phone somewhere you can’t reach it from your bed. Go to bed at 10pm latest the next night.

As for staying focused on your goal throughout the day, the things I’ve found most effective:

Yes and no.

Objectively speaking, the ONLY thing that affects your chances of getting rich is doing the work required to achieve that outcome.

If going to the gym allows you to produce more quality output, and the time spent in the gym (and thinking about the gym) produces more benefit than you could’ve achieved if you had that extra time + mental bandwidth, then it’s a net positive.

But we live in a world FULL of people who spend all their time “getting themselves ready” to do the work.

Early mornings, meditation, cold showers, reading self help, gym, etc

None of these things are DOING THE WORK. They are all things that are supposed to HELP you do the work. But many great accomplishments were achieved throughout history without them.

It’s also important to know what you’re optimising for. If you were optimising 100% for money, then realistically you should just work 24/7. But do you just want money? Or do you want to live a great life?

In my view, training, eating clean, reading etc are all part of living a great life. The benefit far outweighs the time cost.

The short answer is YES, you could always be doing more. Patience isn’t about going slowly, it’s about not f*cking up your progress because you’re in a rush to achieve the outcome.

For example, let’s say you want to hit $10k/mo in 6 months. Impatience = quitting or slowing down when it doesn’t happen in the arbitrary timeline you laid out. That’s the value of patience. It stops you from making blunders.

In terms of increasing your output, that’s a personal choice you have to make. How much do you want to work? How fast do you want to win? What are you willing to give up that you’re currently attached to?

There are no right or wrong answers. The game is about ruthless self honesty. Most people try to “do more” but it comes from a place of shame and guilt so it fails. Start from a place of ACCEPTANCE, then negotiate with yourself and play games.

E.g. “I wonder what would happen if I worked 12 hours a day every day this week?”

Or “I wonder if I could focus on one thing for 6 hours?”

Or “I don’t want to work for 10 hours everyday, but what if I did it for a little bit to secure this outcome that’s really important to me and worth the sacrifice”

Play games. Make it about curiosity. Negotiate with yourself to go past what’s comfortable in service of something greater. But do it all from a place of ACCEPTANCE and TRUTH.

This is your life and you can live however the f*ck you want.

Remove all “shoulds” and make the decision for YOU.

First, recognise that fear THRIVES in the unconscious. The more you reject it, the more power it holds over you. Recognise and admit the fear. Accept that it’s real. Reclaim the power.

Next, take incremental steps. Start with the smallest possible action you can think of. If your fear is talking to strangers, say “good morning” to one person. If it’s posting content, post ONE piece of content where no one can see it. Do this for a week then step it up.

Finally, STAY AWARE. The moment you think you’ve “conquered” it is the moment it’ll creep back under the radar. Once you’ve got over the initial fear, double down and use the momentum to go even further.

BONUS: the most effective way to DESTROY a fear is to take one massive action that terrifies you. This is more difficult but way more effective—it basically negates the previous steps.

Do the thing you’re terrified of and your nervous system will realise that it didn’t kill you (all fears stem from the fear of death). I recommend doing this at least once, it’s genuinely a rush and completely rewires your ideas about what you’re capable of.

If you have any questions, drop them in the comments below. I’ll reply to every single one.

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